When it comes to relationships and such, I'm pretty old-fashioned. I believe in the guy being the one to initiate things in the beginning; I believe in abstaining from sex until marriage. I believe in getting to know someone on a face-to-face basis, letting the relationship grow to a point of maturity where both people involved feel very comfortable around each other. My old-fashionedness has served me pretty well: I've been able to avoid most of the heartaches and pitfalls that plague the average young lady my
As a condition of my old-fashionedness, I do not believe in online dating. At all. I don't mind having conversations with someone I don't know online. That's cool because you can make contacts in places you've never been to and learn interesting new things. But when a guy online wants to be more than friends, I'm always skeptical. Its hard enough getting to know someone you see often, let alone someone you never see. It's cliche, but people can be whoever they want to be on the Internet, so you never know who you're really talking to. It's one thing when someone you know and love moves away and you use the Internet to keep in contact. But developing love over the Internet???? I don't think it's possible. You can't love someone you don't know, and you can't really know anyone on an Internet basis alone. It's fine if you initially meet someone on the Internet, but you need that face-to-face contact to really know who you're dealing with. And for me, if someone lives too far away, we needn't start anything on the Internet cause the face-to-face thing probably won't happen, ya digg? :)
I'm suspicious when a guy (and he's usually African, Naija almost always) comes at me with flowery babblings of how he sees a potential for love that will shake the mountains (or some nonsense like that) between us. I'm like, "What? You like my pictures and that's why you think we should get married?" Hahaha... No, I have stopped dignifing their messages with a response because honestly, it always leads to a pointless debate that can never change my mind. Neither do I degrade them with rude comebacks because they're still humans beings and I will always respect that. But do they really think they're going to make me fall in love over the computer screen so that in a few months time I'm typing, "Yes, baby. I love you so much too; let's get married"???? Hahahahaha... Yeah right! Get the heck outta here!
And especially when it comes to African guys, and especially those that live in their respective countries, I always think they're after one thing: GREEN CARD!!!! Lol... It may or may not be true, but I'd rather not take my chances.
You may wonder why I decided to write on this topic, me: the Naija American Girl who never talks about relationships or anything even remotely related. If you go to the Facebook page I have for my blog, you'll see why: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=25716412#!/pages/Naija-American-Girl/216419493860?ref=ts. This dude was bold! He posted his own on my wall instead of sending me a message like the others. He had me choking with laughter!