Roads

For some reason, I'm fascinated with roads. Roads that we travel everyday lead to different cities, towns - places where people live a parallel existence, as oblivious to you as you are to them. I'm often excited when I find myself on a familiar road far away from home. I'm intrigued as I follow the road, passing landmarks, homes and businesses that are different from the ones I know. Sometimes I even take the long way home from just to see different sights.

Now don't get me wrong; I don't just go crusin' carefree whenever I get the whim. Gas is already far too much of my budget. But skipping the high-speed freeways every so often can be quite satisfying. And I've really got no other choice. I live in the part of the country that put the car on the road en masse: the Motor City. If you wanna get around here, you've gotta have a car because public transportation is not reliable. So since I'm gonna be on the road anyways, I might as well enjoy the ride :)

Gadhafi Dead

I know Gadhafi was a dictator, mercilessly killing his own people, but the videos of  him with blood dripping from his body while people celebrate all around, are quite sickening. I mean, people were jostling his dead corpse as if it were a toy or something. I understand that Libyans feel vindicated for the many wrongs committed against them. And while I definitely don't support the man or what he stood for, but there should be some sanctity in death. That is all...

Naija people get mouth

(Continued from the previous post, Nigerian Hospitality)

On the other hand, I can't pretend like Naija people can do no wrong. That would be, well..... dilusional. Hahahaha.....  One thing I've noticed growing up: Naija people get mouth. In other words, they say what they have to say, whether you like it or not.

In America, where politicians and advocacy groups fall over themselves to be politically correct, Nigerians are one group of people who don't always play by these rules. They often say what they have to say bluntly. It's usually not to hurt anyone's feelings either. That's just the culture, I guess. However, those who have assimilated more into the way things are done in America have learned how to have a little more tact. Still, there are those who sabi open mouth. They haven't quite learned the skill of self-censorship.

I can't count how many times an uncle or auntie has said something that has made me want to bust out laughing because of its harshness. Most of the time I do my best to stifle the laugh by biting my tongue or cheek because I know they weren't trying to be funny. Here are a few choice lines I can remember...



Tha'ts me on the far right almost 11 years ago. It was at this church, around this time that I heard...

If you embarrass me, I will slap your head on the wall!

Said by one lady at our old church to a group of us who were preforming a dance that she taught us. As if the point ouf us dancing was to praise her. Mcheeewwww.....

 In 2009 I cut my hair, and I loved it.

Ah ah, Chichi. We're trying to hear wedding bells, and you're cutting your hair?
Said by one aunty in 2009 when I cut my hair. Smh. Can you imagine? So because I cut my hair short, I become so unattractive that no one would want to marry me?! Who said I'm catering my hairstyle to get a mate? Who said I'm even ready to get married, all of 21 year old at that time. I of course didn't say these things, but I sure thought them. I've noticed a similar complex with older Naija people, particularly women. I think it stems from the fact that many of them, when they were in school in Nigeria, were forced to cut their hair so that they wouldn't be focused so much on trying to be cute. As with most things that any young person is forced to do, they hated it. And for girls, it's quite understandable that they would be unhappy with being forced to cut their hair. And they had to go way short. We're talking boy, close-shaven short. So now that long, glamorous hair is available to all, they can't understand why someone would choose to sport short hair. I used to feel similarly, but when I cut my hair in 2009, I saw the light. I was fly, and you couldn't tell me nothin'! Lol. As my hair grew, I found that it took more time to maintain it than I had. So for now, I've gone back to weaves and braids. But my natural hair is now an option, where I didn't think it was before. And I now know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hair long or short, weave or no weave, I can feel and look beautiful. Anyone who says otherwise is silly. 

You people are wasting away in America eating hamburger!

Mr. Vincent C. Anigbogu, founder and director general of the Institute for National Transformation, spoke at the African Christian Fellowship National Conference back in July. He chastized both the youth and the adults for getting comfortable in America and forgetting about the state of their home countries. Really had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing on this one. He made some good points though. He had actually lived and worked in the United States for 30 years before he went back to Nigeria and has since been making great impact through his organization.

No wonder you are this big.

My dear uncle actually left this comment on a Facebook picture I had posted. It was a picture of a guy holding a bowl of chips at a surprise party for one of our friends. The guys is, well, quite big, as my uncle so "tactfully" observed.

No wonder it was somehow unrounded
Ummm... no pic for this one. Even if I had one, I wouldn't post it. Lol. My friend told me that her mom was looking at her backside and wondering why it didn't look as round as she remembered. It was due to her change of underwear (a thong) ;) Hehehehee....

And these are only the ones I remember right now. My mom told me that before she came to the U.S., she was walking down the street in Lagos. She had tied her headscarf in a particular way. One man along the road called to her, "My sista, you think you look good. You don't look good o!" Hahaha... Then another time, when she went back to Naija to visit, she was walking with my dad's older brother, her brother-in-law. Their car had broken down and they were forced to walk. Some "keen" observer called out to her "What are you doing with that man? He's too old for you o!" Hehehee... see our people o. Chei!

Nigerian Hospitality

Man, I swear, I love my Naija people. We have our negatives and we have our positives, but in the end, there's nothing but love for them in my heart.

One contrast between Americans and Nigerians was made so clear to me a few years ago. A few of my friends and I were spending the night at one of our other friend's house. We stayed the night, woke up the next morning and were with her throughout the day. Do you know that she didn't offer us anything to eat the whole time we were there? I know we were there to hang out and help her with the event she had the next day, but I was like, come on. The night we got there we went and bought ourselves some food and the next day, we just went hungry until we ate at the event.

My friend obviously wasn't Naija! I mean, how can people come to your house, spend the night, and you won't offer them anything? Tufiakwa! It could never happen. If you enter a Naija person's house, you won't be there more than 10 minutes before they start bringing out little snacks and drinks.And don't be surprised if they start bringing out a full meal for you. Forget offering - they set it out before you and you're expected to take a little, at least, to show your appreciation (and that you trust them enough to eat their food).

My dad scolded us when we were young when we didn't bring out something for our guests, so now it's like second nature to me. I have to remember though, when I'm at the home of one of my American friends, that this is not always the custom.

Americans can even be eating right there in your face and won't even offer you anything. I'm thinking, "No, I didn't come to your house to eat, but are you really gonna sit here eating chicken in my face and not offer me some?" Lol.  Not all Americans are like this though. Some will conscientiously offer you something, but they certainly won't insist if you're hesitant. Hahahaha......

Grandpa's Gone

Left to right: unknown aunty, Uncle, Aunty and cousin, Grandma, Grandpa

When my mom got the news last week that her father had died, she was devastated. She didn't know that he was sick and was still expecting to see him when she finally traveled home. It had been 19 years since she saw him last.

I was very sad too.  Though I don't really remember that much about my grandfather from when I visited Naija years and years ago, I remember talking to him on the phone over the years. He was always expressed his eagerness to see us... Now that will have to wait until we all meet in heaven. Chei....

You see, it's very easy for people to forget the original intent of coming to this country, America. No one plans to lose loved ones in their quest for a better life. But the reality of the situation is that it happens. People in Nigeria and other parts of the world dream of coming to America so they can just drink from the sweet waters that they believe are flowing here; but when they come, they are met with a bittersweet taste.

True, life in America affords us many things considered luxuries around the world: general security and safety; a somewhat reasonable justice system; the ability to go to school and get an education without the fear of strikes interrupting courses; constant light and internet. But life here can be difficult. Debt seems to be the way of life and as bills stack up, it seems many live to work instead of work to live.

The constant fight to keep from complete financial ruin can make it hard to live up to the expectations of those back home. They expect their lives to be transformed from grass to grace because they have a relative in America. But it's not always that easy. And as time goes on, people forget what's important. They don't want to go home because they are ashamed that they haven't achieved what they had hoped. They don't want to be ridiculed. And even if they wanted to, they couldn't afford the trip. Heck, it's hard enough scraping together funds to send home every pay period. So time passes and whole generations grow up hardly knowing their family overseas. What a painful existence. And when it comes down to it, it's all because of money.

I have decided, so help me God, that I will not perpetuate this cycle. As soon as I'm able, when I finish my program, I'm going to Naija to see my family. At the end of the day, the love for family surpasses anything that could deter harm.

This situation also spurs me on to excel in my field so that I can make a difference in my family's life. I refuse to accept life like this.

An excerpt from my poem,  Ada: Statement of Responsibility

Before I was born the prayers of my grandmothers
were going forth on my behalf,
beseeching God to do something new:
Now, here I am.

I am Ada:
First daughter of my family’s
Nigerian dream
to cross the ocean and fulfill the
American dream
and carry it back home.

I’m not here to live for myself
or just to have fun;
I’m on mission to improve the lives of my family,
both here and there.

Too many sacrifices have been made
Too many prayers have been prayed
Too many tears have been cried
Too many have longed to see, but died
waiting for the dream to be fulfilled;
And too many yearn for it still for me to forget them.



Excerpt, Ada: Statement of Responsibility by Chidinma Ogbuaku

What a way to get a job!

I saw this story on TV today and it just blew my mind. This 24-year old guy, Matthew Epstein wanted to work for Google as his dream job. So he made this video:




And guess what? Gooogle called him! So did Microsoft, Amazon, and a few other companies. In the end, he landed his dream job with a company called SigFig.

So creative, isn't it? Talk about creating opportunities for yourself, huh?

High-quality Nigerian Movies

Usually when I watch Naija movies, I gravitate toward ones that have Osita Iheme, Chinedu Ikedieze, Nkem Owoh, and/or John Okafor in them because I like funny Naija movies the best. Those ones wey sombody dey do juju and all that kind of stuff.... I no like am. But I've just been awakened to some really high-quality Nigerian movies, in terms of video picture, acting and plot. My only problem is that they're not yet available to me to watch or buy.

While browsing Nollywood Forever I came across a movie called Anchor baby that really caught my interest.  I guess it's showing in the UK.



Then I stumbled across Black Gold, which is showing in Nigeria and at a few film festivals in the US, according to the IMBD website


Now that's what I call a movie! Does anyone know how I can get a hold of any of these?